Have you ever found an online entrepreneur you were really jazzed about only to be bombarded with negativity masked as inspiration?
They tell you the only way to happiness is to run your own business. Maybe they believe if you’re not happy every moment of every day, you’re doing something wrong. They post memes about “ignoring the haters,” and go on defensive rants about people trying to keep them down.
I know I’ve had that experience. It’s disappointing to see someone we admire cling to negativity, seeing the world through the lens of perfectionism and self-judgment. I quickly found my energy drained and stopped following their business.
Critical perfectionism was easy for me to spot because I was doing it too.
When I first started blogging about online business and personal development a couple years ago, I noticed the same negative tone in my writing.
I’m a lifelong perfectionist with a habit of giving myself conditional love based on achievements. The same critical lens I saw myself with, I was using to look at the world.
[tweetthis]I thought I had to be something I wasn’t to be successful. What I really needed was to embrace all that I am.[/tweetthis]
Know your message and goals, and take action in line with those values.
Seeing someone else give advice based on conditional love was the message I needed to realign my own business with compassion.
How we do one thing is often how we do everything. If you’re rigid and critical of yourself, you’ll see the world with the same perspective.
Before we can deeply understand how to give others the respect and compassion they deserve, we must first give that love to ourselves.
The main purpose of my blog/business is to help women radically accept themselves, know their capabilities and take steps towards their dreams. I dedicated the following year deeply devoted to cultivating self-love and inner peace to make my message strong and clear.
Keep asking yourself, “Are my actions in line with my message and goals?”
If your goal is to connect with others, creating a safe space for learning and growth, practicing non-judgment will be vital to you.
Stay humble. Offer empathy and understanding while making choices in line with your higher self.
Don’t add judgments like, “I’ve failed,” or, “I’m a bad person,” to observations about your achievements.
This will hold you back from moving forward, and that’s the goal here. We need to make mistakes before we can make adjustments.
Emotional work is hard work, but it’s the foundation of a life you love.
There’s a tendency to think of emotions as passive things, things you need to put to the side if you’re really a strong person.
Take an honest look at how you make decisions each day, and you’ll see emotions not-so-secretly run the show.
The more you ignore your feelings, the louder they knock. When you learn to bring awareness and acceptance to them, they have less control over you.
[tweetthis]Changing self-critical emotional habits is the only way to stop judging others harshly.[/tweetthis]
You’ll do great at being non-judgmental one day, and be comparing yourself to others the next.
Emotional work hurts.
It requires a re-learning of how to be with yourself. It’ll feel awkward, and you might not be great at it at first. All new habits are awkward at first.
Everything has an ebb and flow. Keeping bringing yourself back to your mission and goals.
Emotional work is the foundation of all other success in life. It’s the lifelong practice of becoming more “you.” Remember this next time you set goals and priorities.
Inner work takes time and focus. Choose activities, rituals and practices that make you a priority. It’ll improve your focus, creativity, relationships, and sense of who you are as a person, and in business.