Welcome to an archive of my 2017 course (originally published on Teachable here) introducing what was once called Curious Experiments – where I taught students to use curiosity as their guide, think like a scientist, and choose their first experiment, set the duration, observe, and begin again after adjusting the variables.

This piece is from the script for video two of my 2017 mini-course, Get Started, Get Going where we explore life’s purpose, letting go of judgment and comparisons, and exploring the what-ifs. Please enjoy my early efforts! I hope this finds those who need it most. See the first installment here: Trust Yourself

You can’t get life “wrong.”

It’s easy to get in our own way when we’re feeling afraid of doing something new or making a big decision. We’re going to clear away a few common obstacles we all face at one point or another when developing our awareness and pursuing life goals. Let’s look at new perspectives, expand what we believe is possible, and let go of limiting beliefs.

Life is all about learning, growing, and accepting what it means to be human. Sometimes I like to ask myself, “What would Joan Jett do?” ANYTHING SHE WANTED TO! Seriously, she made her own rules. You can substitute anyone you want in here – Judge Judy, Nikola Tesla, Morticia Addams. Whoever gives you that go-ahead to delve into your personal power.

Life is short. We start off not knowing anything, and we continue on that way until we’re gone from this earth. As kids, we think we’ll suddenly know everything when we’re adults, but we never quite get there. Our entire life is an experiment – a learning laboratory. Embrace the uncertainty and enjoy the journey! Don’t be afraid to get messy.

If you’re feeling stuck by the idea of living your life’s purpose, I may have some relief for you. It’s natural for people like us, dreamers, healers, and creators, to want to live our life’s purpose, but trying to figure out what that is exactly can also keep us from moving forward and taking action.

We don’t have just one life’s purpose.

Fortunately, life isn’t exact, and you’re not given one assigned purpose. Life’s what you choose to make it! Some of us may be born with a talent or develop a skill that stands out. Others may be good at many things. Even if your best skill is being loving and caring, that is an amazing choice for your life’s purpose.

I suggest that regardless of what you’re good at, you prioritize being loving. You’ve got this one life right now, that I know of – who knows really. Embrace it as if it is the one life you’re going to have. What do you want said at the end of your life – they did a lot of things, or their love was felt by all who knew them?

You create the feeling of purpose when you mentally and emotionally link your actions to something personally meaningful.

If we add meaning to something we’re passionate about, that can be a great life’s purpose. Purpose usually has to do with giving back to the world or serving others. We can have goals or agendas for situations or relationships – but purpose is something deeper. It can even show itself in the smallest of ways.

My passion and purpose is helping people see pain as inevitable and suffering as optional. I seek truth and self-actualization. My purpose is largely driven by the identity crisis that came along with being an orphan, and the constant search for the meaning of love, and how to find some kind of inner peace in all my turmoil. My early life struggles blessed me with deep empathy and resilience, which helps me see life with flexibility and curiosity.

What are your skills and struggles that have shaped your experience?

How do you think you could help others?

I’ve created a few questions for you to explore at the end of this post.

What if I “fail?”

The thought can be so terrifying it paralyzes us. We often feel this sense of impending doom when anxiety hits us.

What if I’m not good enough…

All of us struggle with these types of fears. The truth is – we’re lucky if any of these things happen to us. Discomfort and embarrassment mean we’re alive. Part of life is stuff not turning out how we expected. If everything were predictable, it would hardly be an adventure.

Humans are similar in many ways. No matter how confident someone might appear, they too have self-doubt. You could go on like that forever, clinging to fear, or you can choose to take action anyway. Confidence comes with action, not the other way around.

I wanna tell you a little story about my days as a spelling bee champion – correct that, I could have been a champion, but I was too afraid to feel embarrassed.

If you want to hear my story about how speaking in public and “failing” turned into a triumph of spirit – click on the video below to hear the audio version of this blog post and why my spelling bee champion dream didn’t come true. Warning: there is one “F” bomb.

If you do end up being paralyzed by fear of embarrassment, like I was at the spelling bee, you may have noticed, in my story, there was still an amazing ending. There is no messing life up.

Even if you “fail” or make a choice you feel you regret, you can still choose to learn from the situation. I learned how to put myself out there from the pain of regretting not doing it. There is no messing life up if we get back up and keep growing.

You won’t know “what if” if you don’t experiment.

If you want to know what’s possible, and you want to know how you’ll feel and deal with discomfort and possibly incredible success, you’ve got to put yourself out there and end the worrying and questioning. Find your answers by doing what you want to do.

Try making your “what ifs” into something positive – inspire yourself. Become curious. Accept that good things can and do happen if you’re looking for them. If you’re looking for negative things, you’ll find those too. Everything we can imagine exists in our reality, and we need to adjust our focus to find it.

Choose with intention what you’re seeking. Become action-oriented and start mentally developing the habit of believing in yourself, knowing that it’s possible.

Other people’s opinions are none of your business.

People will always have opinions, judgments, and expectations. Don’t make their problems your problems. Send them loving-kindness and live your life.

When people are applying harsh judgments to your efforts, or to you, see them for what they are – judgments, not truth – especially not your truth.

It’s more about them than it is about you. We see through our own filters, and some folks have pretty muddy filters. That’s ok. We’re all humans functioning from whatever state of awareness we’re in right now.

Don’t spend energy on wondering why people are the way they are – the answer is always “because they can be” and “all things are possible.” You can’t control how other people are. You can only control how you respond to them and how you choose to see the situation.

Wish everyone well – send them love and kindness, feel it in your bones that you wish the best for everyone, and it will change the energy of the situation.

I watched an Oprah interview with Lady Gaga. She said when she’s creating songs, she doesn’t listen to other people’s music. She doesn’t pay attention to the outside world and what they have to say. She spends her energy on creating and tapping into the gifts she has waiting to be born. She develops a state of flow. Tap into you, and let the naysayers naysay.

Cultivate clarity through non-judgment and compassion + set healthy boundaries.

The more you become aware of your tendency to judge, and how it effects your outlook, the more you can see the habit in others. There are no other practices that have changed me and how I see the world more than compassion and non-judgment practice.

When I started my first online business in 2012 for location-independent makers, I felt overwhelmed consistently. I judged everything I did, everything I saw, including myself. I knew that to help people from a place of peacefulness, I needed to let go of defensiveness and grasping and settle into my true self.

Our words and actions shape the energy we bring to life. If we want to attract peace and success, we need to be peaceful and acknowledge our current success first.

Only when we step outside our negative habits can we start to see how they truly effect us. We also start to release their power over us. When others’ negativity comes into our space, we can see it and send it the other way. The people who want to be around us will change as our energy changes. We can spot people with healthy boundaries when we have healthy boundaries, and the same goes for healthy attitudes and habits.

Over time, when you practice applying non-judgment and compassion to yourself and the world, you’ll find you’re able to accept yourself as you are. You’ll be less effected by external judgment. As you become aware of how much judging actually happens in your world, how it feels as it’s happening, and how it changes your presence and choices, you’ll want to replace the habit. Peace and compassion will replace the discomfort of judgment and trying to control and make sense of everything in a habitual way.

Accept yourself as you are. The opposite of judgment is acceptance and understanding that our flaws are human, to fail is human. Relax into yourself.

How would it feel to be free from others’ judgments of you and your own self-critical voice?

Time to Reflect:

We have a choice in each moment to choose love or fear. Love accepts us for who we are, allows room for growth and learning, and gives us a safe place to rest when we’re weary. Fear tells us we aren’t good enough, judges us for failing, and keeps us from making bold choices and connecting with others. When you shift your perception from fear-based to love-centered, you will immediately see a difference in energy and perception.

Here are a few questions to get you shifting into love-mode and seeing life as an experiment meant to be fun and exciting.

What can I learn from this experience?

What can I leave behind because it doesn’t serve me? What am I afraid of?

How can I be gentle and loving with myself in this moment? What do I need right now?

How can I make love my life’s purpose? 

When starting off with something new, or taking big risks, we don’t start where we’ll end up. We do what we can, with what we have, and build. We learn and grow as we take action.

Use the following questions to think about how you can take action now with what you have available.

What experience can I draw from?

What special skills do I have?

What resources can I use?

Who do I know?

How much time do I have available?

What cycle of life am I in (regenerating, healing, high energy & focus)?

What is the simplest answer to my current challenge?

What can I do right now that will make the biggest difference?